Bowserings

•My Cousin Skunky

A couple of months ago, I wrote about the night I rescued a temporarily-blinded skunk from the McFlurry cup it had stuck on it’s head, and how I became one with nature.

Last week, without warning, nature called.  Actually, it was my friend Kim in Vancouver calling me.

“Hey Kim!”
“Oh my god, you HAVE to listen to this…” and she began to read aloud an article in the newspaper regarding a West End neighbourhood skunk slowly choking to death because of a plastic dome lid stuck around it’s neck!

The article explains further that volunteer rescuers engaged in a 2-hour standoff with “Bubbles” (the sickenly tragic and cute name some humans bestowed on him).

As my friend Derek and I encountered this animal relatively soon after his slow-strangle began, I would like to share some tips with ‘B Team’ on how to properly corral a wild skunk from Vancouver’s West End;

a) Don’t call him “Bubbles.” We referred to him as either “Skunk,” and later, “Todd.”

b) Why are you having “standoffs” with a skunk? The key to a successful encounter is to be coming home super-late from celebrating my birthday, and quietly coax it over with soothe calling, or gentle pavement patting.

c) If I know Todd, he doesn’t dilly-dally or mess around. He attacked the melted ice cream within that McFlurry cup with zest, I assume; he was fast to acknowledge that he needed assistance to “get out of another jam,” and reluctantly come to my voice within 5 minutes of meeting us; and he was quick to grow into the clear domed lid that I was unable to remove from around his neck.

The more I think of it, however, the more I question that we are talking about the same skunk… The Wildlife Rescue Association of BC says that this sort of thing is not uncommon, the newspaper indicated.

Is it entirely possible that 2 separate skunks, both wearing the same style, size and colour of coat, were seen walking in the West End with identical clear plastic dome-shaped cup lids around their neck?  It’s essentially the plot to the film “My Cousin Vinny” starring Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei (garnering her Academy Award for best supporting actress).

I like to think that Todd went home that night, slept off the ice cream binge, woke up to a plastic dome around his neck with regret, and shamefully had to get his girlfriend to help him remove it.

Sadly, this “Bubbles” character might be an acquaintance of Todd’s (maybe they know each other from the bushes), but he went too far off the deep end before Todd could stop him from sticking his head into litter.

Those days are over for Todd anyways. He married that girl who stuck with him through thick and thin, even on that August morning when he hit rock bottom.  They now have 2 kids and live in Burnaby.

The moral of the story is that love will conquer all, and when you know you’ve got it, you hold on to it tight; tight as an ever-growing neck fits around non-biodegradable plastic lid waste.

Also, don’t litter. It’s despicable, and causes stories like this to be newsworthy.

 

Follow me on Twitter: @bowserings

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