Bowserings

•Corey Fischer, Skunk Whisperer

Sometimes, an act of kindness can make you do stupid things.

When I was a boy in Calgary, there was a news story about a duck who had got himself stuck in the rings of a plastic six-pack holder.  Dubbed “Ed, the Duck,” he became a minor celebrity after people began routinely spotting him in the water around Prince’s Island Park.  I recall several attempts being made to catch Ed, but all were futile.  A man even jumped from a bridge several meters above Ed in an effort to help, resulting in a broken leg.  I can’t recall if that rescue was the mallard’s salvation, but the duck was eventually freed.

Last week, Humanity vs Animal Kingdom met again.

The clock was approaching 4am, and Derek (aka ‘the Shiv’) and I were a couple blocks away from my Vancouver West End apartment.  Up ahead, we spotted a skunk crossing the street.  It is very common to see skunks at night in my neighbourhood.  Most people will detour away from the creatures; I seldom do.  I know that as long as the skunk knows I’m there, and I don’t do anything to surprise it, I can pass within a meter of it without incident.

As we got closer, however, we could see that the skunk’s walk was very erratic.  This was due to it’s vision obscured by a discarded McDonald’s McFlurry cup, stuck on it’s head.  It was not going anywhere.  Even if skunks rely on their sense of smell, all this one was benefiting from was the aroma of melted Oreo ice cream.

I can’t equate how much my actions were based on empathy versus sheer spontaneity, but I knew that I had to help the skunk.  In the early morning hours of my birthday, I became a skunk whisperer.

Crouching down, I began to click my tongue and soothingly call out towards the skunk.  It kept walking into the curb, changing directions and walking into another curb.  The Shiv and I remained steadfast in our effort, though risky and stench-prone as it was.

After several minutes of beckoning and close-calls, the skunk finally got comfortable enough with our presence that I actually pet it (!) and got a solid grip on the cup and popped it off the plastic dome, which remained stuck around it’s neck.

I would have liked to have been able to remove the entire container, but the skunk quickly scurried off into the night.  While I wish I could say that I shared a moment with the skunk, that it gave me a quick glance as if to say ‘thank you, Corey, and happy birthday,’ I cannot.  I am very satisfied with the consolation of petting a wild skunk though! (and also wiping my hand onto the Shiv)

I know this seems like a very tall tale, especially given the circumstances.  However, thanks to wonder of mobile technology, and the Shiv’s wherewithal to capture the event, I present to you this photo taken moments before the skunk regained it’s vision:I’m also happy that I didn’t have to buy tomato sauce to douse the spray of skunk from myself.

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